Today as we celebrate our fathers, the fathers of our children and the special father figures in our lives.   We take time to honor all the men who have played important formative roles in our lives and in the lives of those we love.

In honor of my father (aka Papi) I went to the garden center to plant a couple new beauties in my yard.  Papi used to keep a gorgeous lawn, perfect flower beds and weeds never stood a chance in the Ramirez yard.  Growing up I didn’t understand his borderline obsession with our yard, but now as an adult I totally get it.

After I planted my new finds in memory of him (and after champagne with friends) I started jotting down whatever came to mind that I miss about him.  I couldn’t finish the list because there’s really no end to the little intricacies and quirks about him that I miss, but it was  cathartic and tearful exercise that I’m thankful to have undergone.  This list isn’t edited, it’s my champagne and plant fueled feelings copy/pasted from the notes on my iPhone last night.

For those of you that have lost your father, you might see yourself and your dad in this list.  Sending you all much love from my home to yours!

The List:

I miss papi 

I miss watching sports with him. I miss hearing him laugh. I miss him tinkering in the garage. I miss raking the leaves with him. I miss watching him flirting with my mom. I miss being embarrassed of his huge red double decker station wagon. I miss thinking he was way too pro-union. I miss him trying to make us like camping. I miss saying “te quiero mucho” with a hug every single night. I miss seeing how proud he was of me.  I miss his scent. I miss how ocd he was about his fitness and his immaculate lawn. I miss how much he was a gentleman. I miss him calling me “muchachita” when he was low key pissed at me. I miss being proud of him when my friends would see him. I miss the security of knowing he was always worried about me. I miss wondering about his past. I miss his love, but I know his love is all around me. 

Happy Father’s Day!

Father’s Day Beauty

My parents dancing at a festival in KC in August of 1995, just a few months before passing.